I shoulda been a better partner,
I shoulda said “Fuck you!”
I shoulda loved deeper, longer, harder.
I shoulda been a better Jew.
I shoulda asked more questions,
I shoulda hugged you just once more,
I shoulda been there, done that, took part,
I shoulda opened every door.
I shoulda never felt shame,
I shoulda embraced every choice,
I shoulda tried it all, climbed the hill, gone the distance,
I shoulda raised my voice.
And now you stand there searching,
You’re looking for a reason why,
I’m not the man you once knew,
But I gave it my best try.
You’re thinking that I turned a corner,
You’re thinking that I saw it all,
You’re thinking “who the hell are you, screw off, you don’t know!”
You’re shouting out “Last call!”
And so I did my thing,
And so I came, I saw,
And so I challenged, walked away, leap of faith,
And here I lay it out, lay it raw.
I shoulda gone to bed early,
I shoulda walked the extra mile,
I shoulda gave in, but I gave up,
But I played hard, I fought every trial.
I shoulda came prepared,
I shoulda let you have your way,
In the end it’s all a drama, all a joke, all my novel,
I shoulda lived life every day.
I shoulda sang out louder,
I shoulda painted just once more,
I shoulda called you on the phone, called out loud, called out long,
I shoulda searched straight through the core.
I shoulda never let’em take that life,
I shoulda never let you go,
I shoulda never pulled the plug, passed you by, took advantage,
But I’ve got this wreck to tow.
I shoulda never said I’m sorry,
I shoulda told you that you’re right,
I could have pulled the trigger, rode the ride, flushed it out,
I might have slept on through the night.
And now I see it all so clearly,
Wished I ‘d seen it then,
I shoulda danced with you, arrived on time, stayed a little longer,
Can I start again?
And now I’m tired,
And now I’m twenty-one,
An now, at last, I’m done.
Sometimes I need to be a little drunk,
Sometimes I need to be alert,
Sometimes I need to push buttons, take a chance, sober up,
Sometimes I need to feel a little hurt.
I shoulda written more often,
I shoulda been a better friend,
I shoulda drunk less, smoked less, ate less,
I shoulda met a better end.