Shoulda


I shoulda written more often,
I shoulda been a better friend,
I shoulda drunk less, smoked less, ate less,
I shoulda met a better end.

I shoulda been a better partner,
I shoulda said “Fuck you!”
I shoulda loved deeper, longer, harder.
I shoulda been a better Jew.

I shoulda asked more questions,
I shoulda hugged you just once more,
I shoulda been there, done that, took part,
I shoulda opened every door.

I shoulda never felt shame,
I shoulda embraced every choice,
I shoulda tried it all, climbed the hill, gone the distance,
I shoulda raised my voice.

And now you stand there searching,
You’re looking for a reason why,
I’m not the man you once knew,
But I gave it my best try.

You’re thinking that I turned a corner,
You’re thinking that I saw it all,
You’re thinking “who the hell are you, screw off, you don’t know!”
You’re shouting out “Last call!”

And so I did my thing,
And so I came, I saw,
And so I challenged, walked away, leap of faith,
And here I lay it out, lay it raw.

I shoulda gone to bed early,
I shoulda walked the extra mile,
I shoulda gave in, but I gave up,
But I played hard, I fought every trial.

I shoulda came prepared,
I shoulda let you have your way,
In the end it’s all a drama, all a joke, all my novel,
I shoulda lived life every day.

I shoulda sang out louder,
I shoulda painted just once more,
I shoulda called you on the phone, called out loud, called out long,
I shoulda searched straight through the core.

I shoulda never let’em take that life,
I shoulda never let you go,
I shoulda never pulled the plug, passed you by, took advantage,
But I’ve got this wreck to tow.

I shoulda never said I’m sorry,
I shoulda told you that you’re right,
I could have pulled the trigger, rode the ride, flushed it out,
I might have slept on through the night.

And now I see it all so clearly,
Wished I ‘d seen it then,
I shoulda danced with you, arrived on time, stayed a little longer,
Can I start again?

And now I’m tired,
And now I’m twenty-one,

And now I’m thirty-nine, forty-six, eighty-three,

An now, at last, I’m done.

Sometimes I need to be a little drunk,
Sometimes I need to be alert,
Sometimes I need to push buttons, take a chance, sober up,
Sometimes I need to feel a little hurt.

I shoulda written more often,
I shoulda been a better friend,
I shoulda drunk less, smoked less, ate less,
I shoulda met a better end.

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Shoulda


I shoulda written more often,
I shoulda been a better friend,
I shoulda drunk less, smoked less, ate less,
I shoulda met a better end.

I shoulda been a better partner,
I shoulda said “Fuck you!”
I shoulda loved deeper, longer, harder.
I shoulda been a better Jew.

I shoulda asked more questions,
I shoulda hugged you just once more,
I shoulda been there, done that, took part,
I shoulda opened every door.

I shoulda never felt shame,
I shoulda embraced every choice,
I shoulda tried it all, climbed the hill, gone the distance,
I shoulda raised my voice.

And now you stand there searching,
You’re looking for a reason why,
I’m not the man you once knew,
But I gave it my best try.

You’re thinking that I turned a corner,
You’re thinking that I saw it all,
You’re thinking “who the hell are you, screw off, you don’t know!”
You’re shouting out “Last call!”

And so I did my thing,
And so I came, I saw,
And so I challenged, walked away, leap of faith,
And here I lay it out, lay it raw.

I shoulda gone to bed early,
I shoulda walked the extra mile,
I shoulda gave in, but I gave up,
But I played hard, I fought every trial.

I shoulda came prepared,
I shoulda let you have your way,
In the end it’s all a drama, all a joke, all my novel,
I shoulda lived life every day.

I shoulda sang out louder,
I shoulda painted just once more,
I shoulda called you on the phone, called out loud, called out long,
I shoulda searched straight through the core.

I shoulda never let’em take that life,
I shoulda never let you go,
I shoulda never pulled the plug, passed you by, took advantage,
But I’ve got this wreck to tow.

I shoulda never said I’m sorry,
I shoulda told you that you’re right,
I could have pulled the trigger, rode the ride, flushed it out,
I might have slept on through the night.

And now I see it all so clearly,
Wished I ‘d seen it then,
I shoulda danced with you, arrived on time, stayed a little longer,
Can I start again?

And now I’m tired,
And now I’m twenty-one,

And now I’m thirty-nine, forty-six, eighty-three,

An now, at last, I’m done.

Sometimes I need to be a little drunk,
Sometimes I need to be alert,
Sometimes I need to push buttons, take a chance, sober up,
Sometimes I need to feel a little hurt.

I shoulda written more often,
I shoulda been a better friend,
I shoulda drunk less, smoked less, ate less,
I shoulda met a better end.

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Shannon says:

    Ahhh how those shoulda, woulda, couldas can bother us the rest of our lives. The keep us up at night, wreck our relationships, color our perceptions, mold our personality, make us who we are …

  2. marlen says:

    yeah, I was moping around the apt one sad night and this is what came out of it…

  3. Cait Shortell says:

    you move me and this prompts my instinct to reach out to you as a friend even though i only know you through your canasta rap.

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