Ok, so it’s been a while since I’ve posted. Instead, I decided to ponder what my next entry would be and to choose wisely. As week after week passed, the world in which I existed slowly changed. No longer a part of the old world I once felt adapted to, I’ve had to re-create a home for myself here in the states. I’ve had to accept the fact that I won’t be returning to Japan any time soon. I’ve had to accept the fact that I’ve entered a new phase, one of transition and waiting. But what’s been most startling, is how welcome I’ve felt at home, and I think it has to do with being accepted, as my friend Catherine would say, on a soul level.
During the first three weeks of my return, an image of myself emerged – that of a lucky young man; cared for, nurtured, and with endless stories. Moreover, a new image of my parents also emerged, my father taking on a role I never expected, but should have known he would play. I’ve seen that my family cares about me, despite the fact they don’t always show their care in a way that is obvious to me, or in the exact manner in which I would like. It certainly is a long-term process, learning to accept love in any form without first judging it.
And when I wonder how it is my family can bring themselves so fully to our relationships, or perhaps it’s more a matter of my finally seeing things differently, I realize that I am accepted, on that soul level, as a human being, as a son, and as a friend.
I watch how my father acts around me when in the company of friends and acquaintances, and I sense that he has accepted me and can be comfortable with who I am, and that is a very great accomplishment, indeed.
So it’s true – I’m a lucky person; I’m lucky to be accepted by those closest to me which no doubt is an act of love that keeps on flowing.
*Image from EclecticEnergies.com