Blinded by Beleaf

Image by Grant Osborne

 

Osaka, Japan – A trip to the Body Shop proved near fatal for one American man on Tuesday when a bottle of their “Beleaf”fragrance sprayed sideways into the right eye of Marlen Harrison, anAmerican who claims to be a university professor. Harrison, aself-described fragrance addict whose sole purpose for entering TheBody Shop was to “get a quick fix before heading uptown to Hermes forsome designer shit” was caught by surprise when after depressing thesprayer on the small green bottle, was hit in the pupil by a renegadestream of alcohol-based eau de toilette. “The pain was immediate andshocking,” said Harrison, “I mean, after all these years of doing this- and I’ve done it everywhere – I couldn’t believe I had actuallygotten hit. Still, I took it like a man.” Eye witnesses said thatHarrison put his hand over his eye and began to cry. “He put the bottleback on the shelf saying words I couldn’t understand, and then began tojump around,” reported Kaori Wakai, Body Shop employee, “I guess he wasin pain. His friend was laughing at him. He said a word I cannot repeatand then ran out of the store.”

 

 

 

 

 

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Blinded by Beleaf

Image by Grant Osborne

 

Osaka, Japan – A trip to the Body Shop proved near fatal for one American man on Tuesday when a bottle of their “Beleaf”fragrance sprayed sideways into the right eye of Marlen Harrison, anAmerican who claims to be a university professor. Harrison, aself-described fragrance addict whose sole purpose for entering TheBody Shop was to “get a quick fix before heading uptown to Hermes forsome designer shit” was caught by surprise when after depressing thesprayer on the small green bottle, was hit in the pupil by a renegadestream of alcohol-based eau de toilette. “The pain was immediate andshocking,” said Harrison, “I mean, after all these years of doing this- and I’ve done it everywhere – I couldn’t believe I had actuallygotten hit. Still, I took it like a man.” Eye witnesses said thatHarrison put his hand over his eye and began to cry. “He put the bottleback on the shelf saying words I couldn’t understand, and then began tojump around,” reported Kaori Wakai, Body Shop employee, “I guess he wasin pain. His friend was laughing at him. He said a word I cannot repeatand then ran out of the store.”

 

 

 

 

 

9 Comments Add yours

  1. mattshick says:

    This is probably one of the funniest things I have read in this class so far. I really like the way that it is set up like a news artical.

  2. jenaantonelli says:

    marlen,this was so funny and a clever approach to writing a short narrative. the last sentence is the best, and a good way to end it. like i already said, this reminded me of the jim carey movie “liar liar” when he beats himself up in the bathroom during court.

  3. Stacey says:

    the essay was very interesting, their wasn’t any off topic or boring moments. I really like the end when you said the bottle was unavailable to comment.

  4. Sharon says:

    I can totally relate to your story! Within two months when I was younger, I got bug spray, furniture polish, and popcorn in my eye. So I figuratively and literally mean “I feel your pain.”

  5. akstrein says:

    Marlen,Although this sounds like a horrible experience, the story was still funny. I really liked the quotes from “innocent bystanders” and that the “perpetrator” was not able to comment.

  6. Jess Lopatich says:

    i really like this, the way you described everything in detail made it easy to picture the things you were talking about, nad it was actually kind of funny. Also i feel for you, its happened to me before, getting perfume or cologne in your eye really hurts!

  7. rxdp says:

    I loved this short story. I could actually picture everything in my head as I read it. Like Marlen :cry crying from the pain of the cologne in his eye. It was so beautifully written and imaginative. I especially liked how it was written like an article and there was witnesses. This was so funny and exciting!Great Marlen!

  8. raszmann says:

    buuuuuhahahathat was one of the funniest things I have ever read.best part of it allMarlen “I took it like a man”eye wittnesses said “he put his hand over his eye and began to cry” soo good.

  9. Marlen says:

    You all are asked to put your writing “out there” every week, and so I figured it was only fair to do the same. This is one of my favorite pieces of writing, and it was published on a fragrance website where I once had a regular column. Hell, if I can do it, anyone can!Thanks for the supportive comments!Marlen

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